The Face of the Earth

This story begins and ends with a girl. Actually, it begins with girls in general and ends with a specific girl.

A few months ago I was browsing a free online dating site scoping out potential ladies from the comfort (re: safety) of my computer chair. I came across a girl's profile with the only picture being her cosplaying as The Joker. Even decked out in a purple suit with clown makeup on, she was cute, so I kept reading, found she liked video games, some of the same kinds of music, etc. Basically she was a big damn nerd like me, possibly even more so.

So I sent her a message and we start talking. At first just using the site's messaging system which isn't all that great, and then trying to use its IM client which is worse.

We ended up just using AIM and we basically starting chatting nightly. She went to Art school here in SF, She liked fighting games like Tekken and Soul Caliber, She owned a PS3 and was pretty excited about some of the same games as me, and she seemed genuinely interested in meeting me.

Except that whenever I approached the subject of meeting in person, she always had a reason that she couldn't do it. I'm not saying she was lying or anything, I'm just saying maybe I have bad timing. But whatever the reason, it took a few months of talking to this girl over the internet before we found time to meet up. We set up a date, and I kinda knew in the back of my mind it wasn't going to work out. Sure enough, the day before we were set to meet, she IMs me and apologizes. She has to go in to work. No problem, duty calls and all that.

Then something happened. I don't know what, but something. The next time we talked, she tells me she had some kind of breakdown and is moving back home to Sacramento. Her room mates kicked her out of her apartment and she has to go to therapy. While she didn't say she didn't want to see me, but it was pretty heavily implied that she now couldn't.

In the month or so since we last talked, I've tried to look her up on the dating site, and even on facebook. We agreed we wouldn't friend each other on facebook until after we met in person, but I found her profile anyway. I can't find either of those profiles anymore. I don't know what happened, maybe she had a nervous breakdown, or maybe she was fucking with me and just used the excuse to stop talking to me. Or maybe she was a dude or something. I don't know. What I do know is that she was pretty cool, attractive (from the one picture of her as the Joker. I never did get another picture), and nerdy. I was totally crushing.